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Martin Keogh aka The Missing Neighbor

Mar­tin Keogh has spent the past five years most­ly bed­bound with ME/CFS. Before becom­ing ill, he taught and per­formed Con­tact Impro­vi­sa­tion dance in 32 coun­tries on six con­ti­nents. For his con­tri­bu­tion to the devel­op­ment of this dance form Mar­tin has been appoint­ed to a Ful­bright Senior Specialist.

His most recent book is: Naked Real­i­ties: Liv­ing With an Invis­i­ble Chron­ic Illness.

“I only have 20 min­utes a day in which I can focus. My reflec­tions are writ­ten each day with­in these 20 min­utes. And it turns out that 20 min­utes a day can turn into a book that peo­ple can hold in their hands and hearts.”

Link:
Insta­gram
Book „Naked Real­i­ties: Liv­ing With an Invis­i­ble Chron­ic Illness“

Unti­tled
Video, 0:42 min
2022

We who are
embed­ded in
chron­ic dis­ease
have a pri­vate
lan­guage we
speak only with
each oth­er

We talk of
our remain­ing
“spoons”
and “crash­es” while
anoth­er “flares”

We lament
and laugh
at all the well
inten­tioned advice,
“have you tried…?”
and peo­ple who say,
“I under­stand”

We do not
(or try not to)
com­pare our
ill­ness to
theirs

Though
no one can
under­stand
what each
per­son
lives through,
there can be
empa­thy

We lis­ten
in awe
that the
oth­er can
live
with so
much
loss

I under­stand
you have the
best inten­tions

but fre­quent­ly
I want to scream
when you trot out
your unbid­den
cure-all:

Have you tried…?
Pos­i­tive think­ing
Los­ing weight
Stay­ing hydrat­ed
Exer­cis­ing
Vol­un­teer­ing
Ene­mas

Have you tried…?
Keto
Veg­an
Raw foods
Gluten free
Juic­ing
Fast­ing
Kale

Have you tried…?
Push­ing through it
This vit­a­min
That sup­ple­ment
Not exer­cis­ing
Rub­bing in essen­tial oils
Focus­ing on the good stuff
Find­ing Jesus
Find­ing Cannabis

Have you tried…?
Ignor­ing the pain
Get­ting out­side more
Find­ing the pos­i­tive
Turmer­ic
A cleanse
Rei­ki
Yoga
Mul­ti-lev­el marketing

Have you tried…?
Low­er­ing your stan­dards
Pac­ing your­self
Work­ing out
Smil­ing more
Talk­ing to a shrink
Hal­lu­cino­gens
Mov­ing to Arizona

Have you tried…?
Not dwelling on it
Aro­mather­a­py
Chi­ro­prac­tic
Suck­ing it up
Oil pulling
Fresh air
Sun­ning your perineum

Have you tried…?
Crys­tals
Fak­ing it till you make it
Sound heal­ing
Going off all those meds
Hav­ing a baby

Have you tried…?
Anti­de­pres­sants
Quit­ting being so hys­ter­i­cal
30–45 min­utes of exer­cise
Hope
Will
Deter­mi­na­tion
More sex

Have you tried…?
Zum­ba
Ayahuas­ca
Repent­ing
Chang­ing your mind­set
Med­i­ta­tion
Just get­ting out of your wheel­chair
Hot naked yoga

Have you tried…?
Unlock­ing your trapped mem­o­ries
Not think­ing about it
SSRIs
Smil­ing more
Pro­bi­otics
Trans­fu­sions
Drink­ing more wine

Have
you
tried…?

Have
you
tried…?

Have
you
tried…?

The invi­ta­tions
stopped arriv­ing
Peo­ple stopped
reach­ing out,

until I became unseen,
until I became the
Miss­ing Neighbor

  • One advan­tage of this dis­ease? I can pro­nounce phlebotomist

  • If you hear 20 min­utes of moan­ing com­ing from my bed­room, that’s me try­ing to stand up

  • I don’t look sick? I’ll try to get it right next time

  • I’m not always in pain, but when I am, it’s because I’m awake

  • Fit­bit: you have tak­en eleven steps today

  • I don’t look sick? Are you ask­ing what con­ceal­er I use?

  • My doc­tor asked if any­one in my fam­i­ly suf­fered from men­tal ill­ness. I said, no, they all seem to enjoy it

  • They say, “trust your gut!” Have you met my gut?

  • If you want my dis­abled park­ing spot, you have to take my dis­ease as well

  • I don’t look sick? You don’t look stupid!

  • Cause if it does­n’t kill you, it makes you the win­ner of an acute, dark sense of humor

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